Parents. Some have them, some don’t, some wish they didn’t and some won’t. Parents. In life I always use this thought: in every answer, there are two roads called “this and that” and I will now use it in the Parent Zone!
**If it weren’t for your parents you wouldn’t be reading this right now. This: True. That: Yes, but I would not be around to experience this upsetting life of mine if they didn’t exist!
**Your parents did the best they could with what they had at the moment they were in – when raising you. This: I understand it may not have been the best but it was the best for us. That: They didn’t care.
The roads of This or That apply to every one of us in everyday life. In our decisions, we cast a ballot for our future self. In our decisions, we need to ALWAYS remember to put ourselves in the equation. Our decisions may be hurtful to another. Our decisions may be a lifesaver. Our decisions are just that, ours. How they are received is based on the receiver, not you.
As parents or as the adult child, we are always growing. One of the hardest times in my life was trying to be a teenager in the current times while living in an environment that seemed cave-man like. That’s how I saw it anyway.
So now we grow up. Young ones want to branch out and the parents want to still be a branch on their tree and still be a part of their child’s life. So how can the parent not feel jilted, left behind, neglected by their child who is simply living life when they don’t call, invite, or even text back?
What To Do When Your Adult Children Don’t Like You is a cool article from Next Avenue. They give an explanation to each of the 7 tips below.
- Don’t expect your child to be your confidant
- Don’t assume your child always wants to chat or text
- Accept that they are allowed to shape the nature of your relationship
- Don’t compete with your child’s partner
- Treat them like the adults they are
- Take the initiative when you sense genuine estrangement
- Create a full life that doesn’t revolve around your children
Joshua Coleman, Ph.D wrote “If we want to feel closer to our young adult children, there’s one more step, he says: We need to carefully consider our kids’ complaints. If there is a kernel of truth, decide whether it’s something we’d like to change. After all, our children really are our greatest teachers.
Communication is key at any age. Keep the channels open and you’ll receive a lot more!
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